of Vajrayana and Internal Change
Today I've experienced a lot of evidence in the realm of change. Most of this change relates to my latest spiritual movement into Buddhism. Of the three main sects of Buddhism, I chose the teachings of the North Tibetan Buddhists, known as the Vajrayana.
I know that there will be much to learn on this road, but today I may have subconsciously slipped into my inner Buddha. I had plenty reason to be stressed, angry, and agitated with all the driving, scheduling, and memorization I had to do this morning, but when it got to the supposed "boiling point"....it faded.
A truck cut me off right as I was busy trying to call the service department of the kind people who were about to be fixing my Pathfinder. That moment of panic, in the past, has always been my freak-out point. Had this happened five months ago I would have leaned on the horn, screamed my head off, and pointlessly become a reckless driver. However, I did not.
I eased on the breaks, and resumed driving as if it did not happen. Even as the driver moved into the other lane beside me and waved his "I'm sorry" to me. Normally it would have been just a curt nod, or perhaps a flip of the bird....but I smiled, waved and focussed on the road. Not only that, but I was fully aware of the calmness of my breath. I filled my chest with air and let it out evenly and slowly through my nose. It felt fantastic.
Throughout the day this natural calm held me in check. When a professor confessed that, due to a missed midterm, I may not get to write one at all, my breathing was still steady. I was able to look this man in the eye, maintain a genuine smile, and speak when the time was appropriate. The lack of panic and the lack of anger may have saved me dropping another class for the semester.
When I had ten minutes to spare between classes, I took that time to take out a sheet of paper and write something out. It may be completely meaningless to most people, but to me the deep message goes beyond comprehension. It is just simple truth, and must be adapted into my everyday lifestyle. The Buddhists refer to it as the Four Noble Truths.
I know that there will be much to learn on this road, but today I may have subconsciously slipped into my inner Buddha. I had plenty reason to be stressed, angry, and agitated with all the driving, scheduling, and memorization I had to do this morning, but when it got to the supposed "boiling point"....it faded.
A truck cut me off right as I was busy trying to call the service department of the kind people who were about to be fixing my Pathfinder. That moment of panic, in the past, has always been my freak-out point. Had this happened five months ago I would have leaned on the horn, screamed my head off, and pointlessly become a reckless driver. However, I did not.
I eased on the breaks, and resumed driving as if it did not happen. Even as the driver moved into the other lane beside me and waved his "I'm sorry" to me. Normally it would have been just a curt nod, or perhaps a flip of the bird....but I smiled, waved and focussed on the road. Not only that, but I was fully aware of the calmness of my breath. I filled my chest with air and let it out evenly and slowly through my nose. It felt fantastic.
Throughout the day this natural calm held me in check. When a professor confessed that, due to a missed midterm, I may not get to write one at all, my breathing was still steady. I was able to look this man in the eye, maintain a genuine smile, and speak when the time was appropriate. The lack of panic and the lack of anger may have saved me dropping another class for the semester.
When I had ten minutes to spare between classes, I took that time to take out a sheet of paper and write something out. It may be completely meaningless to most people, but to me the deep message goes beyond comprehension. It is just simple truth, and must be adapted into my everyday lifestyle. The Buddhists refer to it as the Four Noble Truths.
There is suffering
There is cause for suffering
There is enlightenment
There is a path to the cessation of suffering
There is cause for suffering
There is enlightenment
There is a path to the cessation of suffering
I like it. Simply put, I like it. And now I'm sitting to a cup of tea, sorting out what next week will hold for me. It may just get a little crazy, and in truth I am worried.
Conquering this worry is my first step to conquering the week.
Conquering this worry is my first step to conquering the week.